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10,000 B.C. By Richard W. Kozak, Jr.  |
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So simple, even a caveman would avoid watching it.
The above could very well be the repackaged catch phrase for the embarrassingly awful “10,000 B.C.” High hopes and quickly cut previews gave the finished product a sense of anticipation for fans of director Roland Emmerich. After successes with “The Day After Tomorrow” and “Independence Day”, Emmerich sets this piece of cinematic dung right down in our living rooms.
Imagine the car insurance cavemen with a never ending self-confidence complex given their very own film with no plot, terrible dialogue, and even worse special effects. After raising the bar of special effects with his former projects, “B.C.” plummets to almost laughable levels.
Compared to the visually enthralling efforts like “300”, “B.C.” is actually less than a cartoon caricature of true special effects. Audiences have grown savvy to CGI efforts in the nearly two decades since “Terminator 2” and “Jurassic Park.” “B.C.” is cinema’s equivalent of cave paintings.
At portions during the film, especially those concerning heavily furred animals are those running and jumping, the special effects are literally laughable. My son, a seven year old, who loves movie action, added his two cents to the equation, “Dad, this movie sucks. The mammoth and tiger don’t even look real.”
If anyone cares to pay attention, the film centers on the personal journey of the caveman D’Leh. A loner and outcast, he longs to become an accepted and noted mammoth hunter. He gets his wish when he mistakenly is given credit for killing a wooly mammoth.
His girl is taken by a rival tribe and, at all costs, he must fight to get her back. I guess there is some social commentary wrapped in the “message” of the film, but we’ll need an archeologist to dig deep enough to find them.
Historically incorrect, “10,000 B.C. earns a paltry 1 ½ out of 5 loin cloths.
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